Civility #1—Irreproachable Communication

We am not responsible for how others communicate their thoughts and opinions as they respond to us. But we are responsible for how our communication style contributes to our relational environment. We are responsible for both the content and the character of our speech. We are responsible for the motive and the manner and the meaning of what we say, especially in a community setting. In stressful situations where the topics of conversation are emotionally charged, it is sometimes difficult to maintain the level of civility that accords with someone who is a citizen of Christ’s kingdom and is following him in the obedience of faith. Fortunately, God has provided us with a variety of incentives to help us fine tune our faith so that we keep a Christ-honoring civil tongue in our heads.

Communicate sound ideas irreproachably, in order that our opponents may be put to shame because they have nothing bad to say about us. Titus 2:8

Jesus doesn’t want us to speak harshly or hatefully or haughtily when we contend for the faith, nor when we argue for any other purpose. Rather, he asks us to be earnest and enthusiastic and empathetic. The ultimate goal of our efforts to persuade should be generating love in the hearts and behavior of those we engage in conversation. Therefore, the way we reason must model that love, especially the manner of our speech. Even if we are reproached or reviled for what we say, we can—trusting in the God who judges justly—refrain from reviling in return; Jesus did, even on the cross. He demonstrated that he valued the people to whom he spoke, even when he was rebuking them. Since he is the one we represent, it is worth every effort on our part to keep his name from being assailed because of our attitudes or actions. When we speak lovingly, we can be free of guilt in our interactions with unbelievers, because we have communicated meekly, honestly, accurately, and courageously. We can be full of hope in these same conversations because, if we leave the people who oppose us no room for reproach about the manner of our communication, God has less to overcome as they consider the matter of what we say. In other words, God may “grant them repentance that leads to an apprehension of the truth.”

Gentle Master, help me remember your Good Friday experience, so I will know it is possible to return a soft answer to harsh accusations, and the renewing power of your grace will be evident in every discussion. Amen.